Dondo

Dondo is an active observer, or “scientist”. He loves mathematical patterns, which reminds him of hallucinogens. The other day he noticed that the autumn trees in Chicago are more colorful this year than ever before. And that each leaf is a tree pixel, a discrete state, spotting a one against the zero sky. A dark pixel or a green pixel equals one and the sky is a zero. But in the fall, each leaf becomes a continuous gradient of infinite color, smooth waves of gradual probability, capturing the essence of quantum flux. Each leaf state is defined by all possible states. Thus the universe exists in everything and everything exists in the universe or whatever. Dondo studies statistics that he doesn’t understand. He uses computers and has no idea what he’s doing. But that shit is dope. Someday he hopes to be able to tell you which dietary fiber can make you invincible. Dondo’s parents are awesome and bequeathed quality unto him. And he hasn’t bequeathed shit back unto them. His girlfriend, Nina, is not human. Mystical mystery shit. She never pressured him to get married or have kids. Now, they are old and nervous about their immediate futures. So kids is not gonna happen. Nina found Dondo at Lollapalooza and grants him all sorts of wishes and is clearly not human. Just before the virus hit, Dondo and Nina were squeezed like a bad zit from the nasty skin of Chicago, and traveled Latin America for a year. It was a glorious freedom that they could not unsee. They are back in nasty Chicago for now, avoiding the plague like the plague. And trying to spend as much time as possible with their parents, so fleeting. Man!, kids, be proud of your parents and love them like your best friends, cuz they are. Unless they aren’t, Dondo don’t know your parents. Flagstaff, AZ is some mystical shit, a glorious 7 year peak that Dondo retreats to in his mind when times are rough. The family that adopted Dondo in Flagstaff is his most cherished “possession”. Long before Flagstaff, Dondo went to school in Winona, MN on the great Mississippi, at the confluence of Bears, Packers and Vikings. There, he connected to the roots upon which he now thrives. He lived in Tucson, Florida, Ithaca, and finally Flagstaff. Dondo went to Flagstaff to get a masters degree in biology, studying the fungus that connects plant roots. (So mystical) Within his first week in Flagstaff, he walked into the Mogollon Brewery, the bouncer took his ID and without lifting his head he said: “Nio fukn Dondo!”. That’s when Dondo’s Winona roots were reconnected in Flagstaff. Fate had mystically planted him where he needed to be. Dondo likes long runs on the beach with Nina. He’d almost always rather be in Flagstaff or Brazil. He loves music. The Psychedelic Porn Crumpets are awesome (seriously, even if that’s partly to sound cool). Brazilian music is itself a vacation - Gilberto Gil, Caetano Veloso, the Tribalistas, Tom Ze, Chico Science. Check out the David Byrne compilation “Axe Brazil” if you can find it. Dondo likes soft drugs and loves booze but cut back cuz he is old and life is short and hangovers get progressively, exponentially worse. Enjoy that shit now, kids. Booze, maybe some herb and small doses of hallucinogens. You’ll be a humble and forgetful, but exemplary citizen. Never heroin, unless you’re like 70. Little Miss Sunshine said it best.